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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27302545">EPISODE FIVE: "Loud"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypetersimmonds/pseuds/gaypetersimmonds'>gaypetersimmonds</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Skam Brighton: Season Five [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work, SKAM (Norway)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Character of Color, Canon Gay Character, Canon Queer Character, Canon Trans Character, Episode 5, Multi, Skam season 5, also for an instance of misgendering in clip 5, boys day!!!!, daily reminder to stream a strange loop original cast recording on spotify right now, tw for discussion of pedophilia and underage drinking and drug use in clip 5, tw for mentions of homophobia transphobia and racism in clip 4, who's ready to get sad on this amazing friday evening!!!!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:27:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27302545</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaypetersimmonds/pseuds/gaypetersimmonds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick Braxton is out of control. Out at parties every weekend - where he gets more money than he spends, takes more drugs than he sells, and kisses more people than he can count. Everyone loves Nick. Except for when he comes home to his family.</p>
<p>But Nick doesn't care. Nick doesn't care about anything - not how a lot of his friends have been avoiding him lately, not how tight money has been, and certainly not about failing his classes.</p>
<p>He makes people happy with his products and he makes people laugh with his jokes, and that's enough for him - but whether they're laughing with him or at him gets harder to tell day by day.</p>
<p>He can't control what he can or can't do, he can't control who he is and, worst of all, he can't control who he falls in love with - seeing as it's the one person who will never love him back. Probably.</p>
<p>FIRST CLIP: "Love Just Me"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Skam Brighton: Season Five [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930417</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. CLIP ONE: "Love Just Me"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31ST, 21:46</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Halloween" by Phoebe Bridgers plays over the nighttime suburbs of Brighton, lights shining through the windows as parties rage on. People dressed in absurd and lazy costumes wander the streets, drinking and laughing - so alive for the undead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>INT. NICK AND LUKE'S ROOM, NICK'S HOUSE</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK is lying on his bed, LUKE lying on his own, both of them staring down at their phones. Alone. Apart.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK's scrolling through Instagram, past various Halloween costumes - BRIANNA and SANDY wearing matching ghost bedsheets with the eyes cut out; ESTHER and ALISTAIR dressed in "Stonewall Prep" uniforms, which NICK squints at, confused; LIZ and RORI dressed as Betty and Jughead, both laughing in a freezeframe; THEO dressed in an old timey suit and newsboys cap, with a fake gun in his pocket, doing an awkward peace sign with JAMES dressed as Nightwing next to them. NICK smiles a little and likes the picture. He pauses for a moment, his thumb hovering over the comments section, but then he exits out of the app.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He goes into his messages, opening the ones he has with JAMES, the ones that are at the top, and types out: "Hey sorry I can't come out tonight haha how are you doing?". He waits for a moment, tapping his thumbs as the messages sends, and he waits and taps and taps and waits, but nothing comes in the long ten seconds he spends staring.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He then scrolls down far and opens up his messages with RORI, the last one being sent more than a month ago. He takes a deep breath, swallowing down his fear and begins to type: "Hey a little birdy told me you're seeing someone? I can't believe I didn't know about the tea haha". His face remains expressionless, bored, kind of trying not to look sad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hits send on the message, watching as it slowly sends, tapping his thumbs again as nothing happens, not even a read. He closes his eyes for a second, and exits out of his messages, clicking on Instagram and then opening his eyes again. A lot of stories have been updated, and NICK clicks on them, beginning to watch silent, shaky footage of a party - NICK inhales sharply, deeply envious.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He watches, bouncing his knee, his jaw clenching - clearly jealous. He taps through to the next one - more of the same - the next one - same - the next one - same - and the next one - same. He goes faster and fast, his screen turning into a blur of purple and black, until it’s blinding white - he squints as the screen returns to the home page. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A message pops up on the top of the screen - "hey, I had a lot of fun last night :)" - from MILO. NICK smiles a little, moving to tap it, but then pulls back, a bit nervous, and swipes it away, opening up his Instagram DMs to stare at the top message from MILO, simultaneously terrified and thrilled by it. He lets himself smile for a second, before a notifications pops up on the top of the screen again, this time from JAMES - he immediately taps it, no question.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"hey it's going fine. wish you were here": the message says. NICK smiles wider, unable to hide his adoration as JAMES begins to type again, NICK’s thumbs hovering over his keypad, waiting patiently until he receives: "i had a massive fight with liz lmao".</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK’s mouth falls slightly open, but he can’t stop himself from still smiling a little. He determinedly closes his mouth, closing everything off as he types and sends: "Oh my god what happened???". He begins to tap his thumbs again, as JAMES sends: "haha i brought up the whole possibility of opening up the relationship and she just completely freaked out", and immediately after that: "which i get but", and then he begins typing again, NICK beginning to bite his thumbnail, concerned, as he watches, patiently waiting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The messages arrives: "she was like 'oh, i'm not enough for you, oh, my parents used to fight about this every night, i don't wanna be my dad, oh, why don't you just break up with me?' and i was like 'i don't wanna do that, i love you' and then she was like 'then love just me'."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK lets out a low breath, his eyes wide, and slowly types out: "Damn that sucks". He sends it and then cringes at himself, beginning to type again, but then JAMES starts to type and he quickly stops, watching.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES sends: "so we're not really breaking up but like she's really not happy with me haha". NICK goes still, neither happy or sad, mostly just confused. He slowly types out: "What can I do to help??", robotic and uncomfortable, and sends it, his thumbs hovering over the screen as he begins to wait again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He gets "you could not get mad when i take some of your stash" and lets out a quiet sigh, as JAMES begins to type again: "sorry, i'm taking my shit out on you. i'm just gonna go". NICK’s entire face deflates as he quickly types out: "Try and have fun dude". A second later: "okay. gn".</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK sighs again and types out: "Goodnight", the song fading out as he rolls over to the other side, accidentally making eye contact with LUKE. They stare at each other for a moment, NICK quickly glancing back down to his messages.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>LUKE<br/></span>
  <span>It's nice to have you home for once. Instead of always being at your friend's house.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK looks up at him, completely taken aback for a moment, and then snorts, furrowing his eyebrows.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Okay?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>LUKE laughs, really awkward, trying not to seem genuine.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>LUKE<br/></span>
  <span>That was an insult.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK nods, trying not to look guilty, to end the conversation as fast as possible.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Okay.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>LUKE sighs and turns around, facing the wall, as NICK closes his eyes, exhaling silently and rolls over to face his wall. We watch his back as his phone suddenly lights up white again.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. CLIP TWO: "Siren Song"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 1ST, 22:17</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soft guitar plays as we pan over NICK’s neighbourhood - the orange leaves scattered on the ground, soaking wet in messy concrete puddles. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>INT. BATHROOM, NICK’S HOUSE</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK, in cosy pyjamas, stands in front of the bathroom mirror, headphones in, holding a hairbrush up to his face as a microphone as he sways from side to side. He’s fully into it, giving an Oscar-winning performance, as he lip syncs along to Harry Styles:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>I want to taste her lips<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, 'cause they taste like you</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He points into the mirror, with a dramatic sigh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>I want to drown myself<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>In a bottle of her perfume</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A dramatic hand to the forehead, very damsel in distress. He laughs to himself, quietly, to keep himself from being too sad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>I want her long blond hair<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I want her magic touch<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, 'cause maybe then<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>You'd want me just as much<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I've got a girl crush</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He takes a moment, takes a breath, genuinely looking ahead</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ve got a girl--</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The song abruptly stops with a vibration from his pocket. He shraply frowns.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>[out loud] Fuck!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sighs and takes his phone out of his pocket, turning it on to see no new messages, but a notification: “intothe_woods has gone live on Instagram!”. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He takes a moment, confused, and then unlocks his phone, which automatically opens to his messages with JAMES - the same ones as last night - no updates. He refreshes the page again - still nothing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He swipes out, swipes his Spotify away, and opens Instagram. He takes a moment, and then taps MILO's live and begins to watch - we see that there are about 100 other viewers. NICK's eyes go wide, as he nods, impressed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO's face fills the screen as we see them taking off their makeup with some very nice looking skincare wipes as music plays in the background. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <span>And, long story short, I've decided that pores don't deserve to exist.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK snorts, confused, as MILO moves to their eyeliner.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <span>Honestly, this eyeliner is so good. It's such a shame that she has to go. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They begin to take it off as the song in the background changes. MILO gasps excitedly as NICK looks confused - he's never heard it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <span>Oh my God. LGBT community, let's go.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They do a little dance as NICK laughs quietly, sliding down to sit on the bathroom floor. They begin to sing along as they take their eyeliner off, looking vaguely off-screen.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>On days his blackness feels like another hurdle<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>That won't get out of his way<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>His inner white girl starts kicking like a baby<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>She wants to come out and play</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK laughs a little, pleasantly amused, enjoying the song.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>She doesn't care if she ruffles any feathers<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>In fact, that is her M.O<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Where he's the king of avoiding confrontation<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>There's not a bomb she won't throw<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Because</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO really gets into it, stopping wiping their face to do a little dance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>White girls can do anything, can't they?<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Black boys must always obey their mothers<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>White girls can do anything, can't they?<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Can't they?<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Can't they?<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Can't they?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK nods, breathing out as he rolls his eyes - he </span>
  <em>
    <span>gets</span>
  </em>
  <span> it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>Some days he feels like his blackness is a treasure<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>That's under constant attack<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>His inner white girl protects it from marauders <br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>She always takes up the slack<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>She lets him feel like a human supernova<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Like he could conquer the Earth</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK awkwardly looks away from his reflection the screen, awkwardly beginning to pick at the grout between the tiles on the floor.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>Like he's the heir to the power and oppression<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Her kind have wielded since birth</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO picks up a bottle of conditioner on screen, using it as a mock-microphone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>Because<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>White girls can do anything, can't they?<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Black boys must always obey their mothers<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>White girls can do anything, can't they?<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Can't they?<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Can't they?<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Can't they?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK looks up into the mirror - he can't see himself, but he can see the reflection of the dusty shower curtain that should've been replaced years ago. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>They get to be cool, tall, vulnerable, and luscious<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>They get to be wild and unwise<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>They get to be shy and introspective<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>They get to make noise<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>They get to mesmerize</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK lets out a deep sigh, daring himself to face the screen and let himself pay attention.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>Black boys don't get be cool, tall, vulnerable, and luscious<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Don't get to be wild and unwise<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Don't get to be shy and introspective<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Don't get to make noise<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Don't get to fantasize</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A moment of silence. NICK inhales sharply.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>His blackness doesn't look blue in any moonlight<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Which makes him harder to see<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>That's why he clings to his silly inner white girl<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>The same one clinging to me</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In a split second, NICK's eyes well up with tears. He puts his phone face down on the floor, but leaves his headphones in.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>MILO<br/></span>
  <em>
    <span>We wanna be free<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>We wanna belong<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>We wanna unearned love or validation<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>But neither come easily<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>So her siren song<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Keeps us in total subjugation<br/></span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>We want to be cool, tall, vulnerable and luscious <br/></span>
  </em>
  <em></em>
    <span>We want to be wild and unwise <br/>We want to be shy and introspective <br/></span>
  
  <em></em>
  <span>We want to make noise, we wanna mesmer--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK rips his headphones out, letting them fall onto the ground as he reaches up and grabs some toilet roll, quietly blowing his nose as he tries to swallow back tears that won't stop coming.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. CLIP THREE: "Anyways"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>MONDAY, NOVEMBER 2ND, 15:17</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BACA</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The BOY SQUAD walk out of the school together, towering over the other uniformed students, chatting inaudible over the noise of the crowd. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES is staring down at his phone, biting his lip nervously as NICK watches him, occasionally glancing over to the conversation, laughing a second too late, but he doesn’t really care. JAMES puts his phone away, NICK quickly looking away, putting his hands in his pockets as they keep talking, getting to a quieter part of the street where we can actually hear them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>I’m just saying that it’s kind of homophobic that none of you guys wanted to join in on our epic Riverdale group costume.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>THEO<br/></span>
  <span>It’s a bad show, Al.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>Yeah, but… It's peak camp.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAKE<br/></span>
  <span>I mean, it’s more of the girls’ things. <em>You</em> and the girls.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>One of us has to bridge the gender gap and I’m obviously the only one brave enough to be non-conforming in literally anyway.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK awkwardly coughs, looking away, not really sure why he’s doing it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>THEO<br/></span>
  <span>You wear flower shirts, Al, you aren’t exactly the first frontier.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR awkwardly laughs, NICK’s eyes going wide.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>Right, well… Yeah.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>An awkward silence sets in, NICK wincing, before awkwardly clapping his hands, getting all of the attention as he laughs, trying to hide his nerves.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>So! Big day this Friday!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There's a beat, NICK waiting patiently.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAKE<br/></span>
  <span>Why? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>The first of us is becoming an adult.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR groans as NICK smiles a shit-eating grin at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>Please don’t say it like that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A laugh goes around the group - NICK smiles, he's fixing things.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>THEO<br/></span>
  <span>But you are. And now you can buy alcohol for us legally.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>I shall not because that scares me, thank you very much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK whines dramatically, pouting as ALISTAIR looks at him, completely confused.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES<br/></span>
  <span>Oh, come on, you have to have your first proper adult drink.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>No, I do not.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Coward.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>I don't trust alcohol!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>[sing-songy] Coward.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR sighs, looking away, as JAMES, JAKE and THEO laugh, NICK slowing down, realising ALISTAIR's actually upset.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Anyways, uh, you’re definitely having a party, right?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>Oh, God, no.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK sighs, rolling his eyes as he makes eye contact with JAMES, who raises his eyebrows. Both of them slowly begin to smile, THEO watching, already rolling his eyes as JAKE smiles, happily confused.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>Please don’t look at each other like that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>You </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to have a party. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAKE<br/></span>
  <span>Yeah, you don’t turn eighteen twice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>Exactly. Which is why I want to do it as quietly and without worry as possible.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK rolls his eyes again, laughing a little.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>Besides, you guys are all gonna have your parties eventually, I don’t see why I have to--</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Because you’re the first! And it’s your [posh accent] "designated social event of the month".</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/>I do not talk like that!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK and THEO both give him a look of "you do" as JAMES frowns.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES<br/></span>
  <span>Come on, you promised.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>I don’t see why this is such a big deal. It's just a birthday.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK's mouth falls open, scoffing a little.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>NICK<br/></span>You're gonna be an adult. It means you can actually do fun stuff legally and have a sick party. It’s what normal people do. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>THEO<br/></span>
  <span>Yeah. And you can finally buy scissors.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone laughs a bit, NICK watching JAMES as he does.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAKE<br/></span>
  <span>Isn’t it weird how you can get married at sixteen but you have to be eighteen to, like, smoke and stuff?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES<br/></span>
  <span>Damn, it’s almost like those laws are kind of arbitrary and don’t really make sense.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK nods, actually impressed as the others kind of laugh, agreeing, but not taking it as seriously as NICK.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES<br/></span>
  <span>Anyways, I have smoked half a pack today already, just so you know how my mental state is going.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Well, at least it can’t get worse.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES raises his eyebrows, a manic glint in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES<br/></span>
  <span>Oh, it can.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He and NICK share a laugh, NICK so proud that he's in on the joke.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAKE<br/></span>
  <span>Did something happen only you two know about?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES and NICK stop laughing, JAMES shaking his head slightly at NICK, who subtly nods back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>THEO<br/></span>
  <span>Is that why you left the party on Friday for no reason, Nick?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK awkwardly laughs, looking away, shrugging.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>No, I just… Got… Busy.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>THEO<br/></span>
  <span>Busy? With what?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He shrugs again, pushing his hair out of his face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Stuff.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAKE<br/></span>
  <span>Please don’t go into graphic details of “Stuff”, whoever he is.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK's face freezes for a moment, but he quickly covers it up with a laugh, joining in with the rest of them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Okay… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The laughter trails off, some more awkward silence that NICK searches for a way to fill, breathing faster and faster, until:</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES<br/></span>
  <span>So, is anyone busy tonight?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAKE<br/></span>
  <span>I have football practise, sorry.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>THEO<br/></span>
  <span>Essay due tomorrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK starts to smile a little as ALISTAIR awkwardly raises his hand.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>I have… </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES looks sad for a moment, NICK's face falling at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>ALISTAIR<br/></span>
  <span>Nothing! I'm good!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES smiles, and NICK does too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Yeah, me too, I have…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He trails off, wincing at himself as he remembers.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>NICK<br/></span>Oh, fuck. 'Cause I "slept over at yours" on Friday, I have to watch my brothers tonight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES frowns, NICK letting out a sigh of relief.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES<br/></span>
  <span>Oh. That sucks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>I-- I can try to cancel.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>THEO looks at him, calmly bewildered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>THEO<br/></span>
  <span>They're children, Nick. Don't abandon them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAKE<br/></span>
  <span>Yeah, don't be a shitty dad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK gives him a look.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>They have a fully functional dad, and it ain't me.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAKE<br/></span>
  <span>Still. Lack of male figures in their lives. Can be damaging.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK gives him a harder look, eyebrows going everywhere.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Yes. I can see that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAKE<br/></span>
  <span>Precisely. Don't be like me.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK looks him up and down, raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK<br/></span>
  <span>Oh, I would never.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JAMES laughs - other people may have laughed, but NICK doesn't care, he's just happy that he made JAMES happy. He smiles as they leave the camera behind, walking on.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>NICK [O.S.]<br/></span>
  <span>Anyways!</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. CLIP FOUR: "The Wrong Family"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 4TH, 18:27</b>
</p><p> </p><p>INT. HALLWAY, NICK’S HOUSE</p><p> </p><p>NICK walks in through the front door, kind of out of breath and dead behind the eyes. His phone vibrates in his pocket and he quickly takes it out, seeing the beginning of a message from a guy from Tinder: “Hey, I had a lot of fun last n…”. NICK sighs, taps it, and blocks the guy. </p><p> </p><p>He takes a breath, exhaling loudly as he begins to walk towards the kitchen when there’s a cough from the living room. NICK halts, bracing himself, and turns to see CHRISTIAN, JOSEFINA, LUKE, GABE and MATTHEW all sitting in the living room, plates of dinner on their laps. NICK awkward smiles, walking forward to lean in the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Hi.</p><p> </p><p>CHRISTIAN looks up from his dinner, deliberately calm - this just annoys NICK further.</p><p> </p><p>CHRISTIAN<br/>Nice to see you actually come home for once. After being spoken to so many times.</p><p> </p><p>NICK nods, trying hard not to roll his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Yeah. Right. Um… </p><p> </p><p>He awkwardly walks into the living room and takes some money out of his pocket. GABE whispers to LUKE as NICK hands it to CHRISTIAN, who shares a look with JOSEFINA. There's a silence, CHRISTIAN looking back at NICK. NICK nods slightly towards his brothers as CHRISTIAN sighs, understanding.</p><p> </p><p>CHRISTIAN<br/>Okay?</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Okay.</p><p> </p><p>Another silence, CHRISTIAN remaining emotionless.</p><p> </p><p>CHRISTIAN<br/>Okay.</p><p> </p><p>Silence again. NICK looks across all of their faces, but none of them are looking back at him.</p><p> </p><p>MATTHEW<br/>Why are we being so weird right now?</p><p> </p><p>LUKE<br/>Shut up, Matthew.</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA sighs, sitting up straighter.</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA<br/>What do you want, Nick?</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Why do you assume I want anything?</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA gives him a look and he sighs, pushing his hair out of his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I just wanted to get some food before I went to James's. </p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA and CHRISTIAN exchange a look and NICK sighs again, subtly rolling his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>We're gonna study.</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA<br/>Okay…</p><p> </p><p>She trails off, awkwardly continuing to eat as NICK stares at her, scoffing.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Why don't you believe me?</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA<br/>I just-- He's a nice boy, but he seems like a bad influence.</p><p> </p><p>LUKE and GABE make scared yet excited eye contact as MATTHEW looks at NICK, confused, as NICK raises his eyebrows at JOSEFINA, who shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA<br/>Not just him, just… Those people you hang around with. They're very… loud.</p><p> </p><p>NICK breathes out a humourless laugh, openly rolling his eyes again.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Yeah. So am I.</p><p> </p><p>CHRISTIAN gives him a pointed look, speaking over JOSEFINA:</p><p> </p><p>CHRISTIAN<br/>Yes. We hear you coming in late.</p><p> </p><p>NICK freezes, awkwardly laughing.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>[obviously lying] That isn't me.</p><p> </p><p>CHRISTIAN and JOSEFINA give him an identical look, LUKE snorting into his food as NICK sighs, throwing his head back, frustrated.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Your punishments never work anyways, you know that.</p><p> </p><p>GABE looks between all three of them, NICK looking at him, confused.</p><p> </p><p>GABE<br/>Is this about Nick's boyfriend?</p><p> </p><p>NICK’s mouth falls completely open, his eyes just as wide.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>My what now?</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA looks at NICK, similarly wide-eyed, but he keeps looking at GABE, terrified.</p><p> </p><p>GABE<br/>Yeah. Tyler, from my class, saw you and his older brother hanging out at his house last night.</p><p> </p><p>NICK closes his mouth, wincing at himself as he quickly shakes his head, looking all around, nervous.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>No, no, I just… That was a school thing.</p><p> </p><p>GABE<br/>His brother's in uni, though.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>[clearly lying] Yeah, it-- It was a "you should totally go to my school" thing.</p><p> </p><p>There's a pause, NICK closing his eyes, bracing for a yell.</p><p> </p><p>CHRISTIAN<br/>[calm] Nick. Are you seeing this--</p><p> </p><p>NICK's eyes fly open, his fists clenching.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>No!</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA<br/>We are not talking about <em> that </em> in front of the children!</p><p> </p><p>NICK scoffs, laughing in anger, opening his mouth to say something else, when he catches a glimpse of his brothers out of the corner of his eye - they all look different degrees of terrified. NICK takes a deep breath, nodding, trying to keep himself under control.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Okay. Fine. I'll see you guys later.</p><p> </p><p>He starts to walk out, biting his lip, pisses.</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA<br/>Where are you going?</p><p> </p><p>He turns round and blows up:</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>To my real family!</p><p> </p><p>Silence. MATTHEW looks at GABE and LUKE, so confused, as NICK's mouth falls open slightly, his heart snapping. He looks over to CHRISTIAN and JOSEFINA - CHRISTIAN staring at him blankly, his knuckled white against his fork as JOSEFINA’s mouth is open, confused and heartbroken. NICK shrugs like a stubborn little kid.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Aren't you gonna say something?</p><p> </p><p>Silence. He shakes his head - why did he expect better?</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Fuck.</p><p> </p><p>He walks out of the door, closing the door tight behind him.</p><p> </p><p>EXT. STREETS</p><p> </p><p><em>“The People Who Raised Me” by Gregory and The Hawks</em> plays as NICK walks through the streets of Brighton, a dark backpack slung over his shoulder. He has headphones in and a frown on his face, looking down at the pavement in front of him. He takes a cigarette out of the packet from his jacket and begins to smoke it, staying close to the outsides of the pavement, close to some badly parked cars and oncoming traffic. </p><p> </p><p>He keeps walking on, past various shops and buildings and houses, until he reaches the outside of JAMES's apartment complex.</p><p> </p><p>INT. LIVING ROOM, JAMES’S APARTMENT</p><p> </p><p>NICK shoves the door open, the song abruptly ending, walking in unannounced as JAMES sits up, pausing the show playing on his TV. NICK lets his bag fall off his shoulder, onto the floor and looks at JAMES, trembling with emotion as he waits to be acknowledged.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>What’s going on?</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>My dad. And my mum. And my fucking parents.</p><p> </p><p>A beat.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Yeah, that would be them.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Exactly! They're such fucking… </p><p> </p><p>He groans, throwing his head back, running his hands through his hair and messing it up for a good few seconds, getting his energy out.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>They don't care about me. They just care about their fucking reputation as a good, wholesome family, when I'm the fucking thing stopping them from going into debt!</p><p> </p><p>He laughs to himself, nodding, in a teen angst frenzy.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>It’s like-- They don’t take any shit I do seriously, I just… I don’t know how they can be so… I mean, I do, I know, but… I don’t know how they could choose to stay that way. And not to try to change and be better.</p><p> </p><p>He shrugs, letting out a breath, less angry now, just tired. He sits down on the sofa, next to JAMES, who’s watching him, his face completely serious and listening. NICK’s taken back for a moment - he expected this, yes, but it doesn’t feel the same. He shifts around awkwardly and slowly begins to talk again:</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I feel like I was born into the wrong family. I just-- I’m not… I was born wrong, you know? </p><p> </p><p>JAMES glances down at his own body and then nods, like “yes, of course, idiot”, and NICK shakes his head - he knows, he <em> knows </em>, and he groans.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I’m just wrong. I-- I can’t do anything, I can’t do school, I can’t be a good brother, I can’t make anyone fall in love with me, I’m just…</p><p> </p><p>He trails off, shrugging. Silence is probably the best answer.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I love you. I know it’s not the same, but… I’m here. And you can stay with me for literally as long as you like. Forever, even.</p><p> </p><p>NICK looks him in the eyes, and then looks away - it’s too much for him to look, he swallows the lump in his throat.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Thanks, but… What am I gonna do? I can’t… I can’t just fuck around forever.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES shrugs, laughing a bit.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Why not? We can get jobs here. We can still party and get drunk and have fun. What has to change?</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I don’t… I don’t know, Jimmy, I just… I’ve been thinking--</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>[sarcastic] You can do that?</p><p> </p><p>NICK forces himself to laugh a little, nodding.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Yeah…</p><p> </p><p>JAMES nods back, quickly changing the subject.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>What’ve you been thinking about?</p><p> </p><p>NICK shrugs, laughing a little, suddenly very self-conscious.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Just… Who I am. What I am. <em>Why</em> I am.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES nods, sucking in his lips.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>That’s a lot of things.</p><p> </p><p>They both laugh a little.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Yeah. They-- My parents said you were a bad influence.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Yeah. I am. Why?</p><p> </p><p>NICK laughs a bit.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>No, just… They talked about my friends being “loud”. Like, you know they were on my back about the protests in the summer and when they literally wouldn’t let me go to Pride in August.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES shrugs, laughing a bit.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>At least you got to hang out with me.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Yeah… We could’ve gone together.</p><p> </p><p>He’s half-joking, half-wishful.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>[jokingly] Why? I hate gay people.</p><p> </p><p>They both laugh a little, NICK’s is half-hearted, but he’s used to it.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>[half-joking] That seems to be the theme of the night.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Sorry, just… I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, you know? Like, yeah I’m trans and… whatever the fuck else, but that’s my private business. I don’t see why anyone would want to go around shouting it, you know?</p><p> </p><p>NICK nods, hurt, but trying hard to hide it.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Yeah, totally… </p><p> </p><p>They trail off into silence. NICK stares past the television and out the window, looking at the lights in other people’s windows.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I wish everything was different. But I don’t want anything to change, you know? ‘Cause everything’s gonna be completely different this time next year.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES nods, sighing, all of his awkwardness melting away.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I know. I think us and Esther are the only ones who aren’t planning on uni right now.</p><p> </p><p>NICK rolls his eyes to himself.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I mean, I <em> have </em>to.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>No, you don’t. </p><p> </p><p>NICK looks at him, completely bewildered by the simplicity with which he says it.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Fuck your parents. You don’t owe them shit once you turn eighteen. It’s your life, then.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I mean… I kind of need a degree, don’t I? To get a good job.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES scoffs.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Please, that’s classist bullshit. A lower paying job doesn’t mean it’s any less good than any other bullshit job. Besides, the world needs supermarket people and fast food workers. And weed dealers.</p><p> </p><p>He elbows NICK, who laughs a little - more of a breath than a laugh, trying his best to stay himself.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I know, I just… I feel so fucking useless. All of the time.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES looks at him dead in the eyes, completely serious again, and NICK can’t look away - it’s too intense to.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>You're not, I promise you're not. I've seen you tie shoelaces before, you can reach high shelves, you got plenty of uses.</p><p> </p><p>NICK snorts, breaking into a laugh as he rests his head in his hands. He turns his head to look over at JAMES, who’s grinning at him.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>You're an idiot.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Made you laugh, though, didn't I?</p><p> </p><p>NICK sits up properly, still smiling, fixing his hair again.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I'm the comedic sidekick here, not you.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Sorry, I won't steal your brand.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Yeah, I spent years and thousands of pounds curating it.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES raises his eyebrows, mock-impressed.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Ooh, big word.</p><p> </p><p>NICK does a small bow.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Thank you.</p><p> </p><p>He lets out a breath, opening his mouth to keep talking, but then closes it. He takes another breath, going on:</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Fuck, I need something to calm me down.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>My strap's in the other room.</p><p> </p><p>NICK sputters for a moment, rubbing his nose to try and distract from his blushing face.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Shut up! No! Drugs! </p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I've been told many features of mine are addicting.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES winks at him and NICK looks away, pretending to roll his eyes as he crosses his arms.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>More like a <em> dick </em>. Literally.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES laughs and nods.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Okay, I'll get the weed.</p><p> </p><p>He stands up, stretching - NICK gazes as his shirt rides up to show some of his stomach and suddenly NICK can't breathe.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>You're a saint, Jimmy.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES laughs and walks off, heading off into the spare room as NICK stares after him for a moment, until the door closes. As it does, NICK closes his eyes, letting his smile fall and letting out a long sigh as he rubs his temples, groaning quietly in pain.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. CLIP FIVE: "What A Twist"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 5TH, 08:53</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>INT. HALLWAY, BACA</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span><em>"Search Your Heart" by George Feeny</em> plays as NICK sits on the windowsill, wearing one of JAMES's sporty hoodies and sunglasses. He's staring down at his phone, boredly switching through all of his social medias. He goes on and on until a notification pops up - a text from LUKE: "Hey, when are u coming home? Mum and dad are figh…". He swipes it away, biting his lip, trying not to look guilty as he pulls the hood up over his head, pushing his hair back into it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He keeps scrolling through his phone when someone walks up next to him, NICK trying to ignore their presence as the song cuts out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO [O.S.]<br/>
</span>
  <span>Morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK looks up and sees MILO - smiling nervously, wearing a very nice dress. NICK gives her a once over, and then looks away, trying not to smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Hey.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO gives NICK a once over, NICK raising his eyebrows as she does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>You look like shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK snorts - not what he expected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Thanks?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Rough night?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK slowly takes his sunglasses off, squinting at the light of the hallway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Just a hangover. I’ve had way worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Yeah, like that top.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK raises his eyebrows, laughing a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>The one on your body, honestly!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Oh, right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks down at the hoodie, adjusting it - it's slightly too small on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>It’s James’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO nods, blowing out some air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Yeah, I can tell. That boy dresses like the straightest punk jock I’ve ever met, it’s disgusting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK shrugs, laughing self-consciously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>I think it looks cool.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Right, yeah.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There's an awkward pause, NICK nodding as MILO coughs, fixing her hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Well, I just wanted to let you know that the, um, LGBT youth project my parents run is having a big event on Friday, like a party/support meeting thing. Not, like, therapy shit, but just, you know, a thing. I thought you might want to come.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nervously smiles as NICK lets out a breath, almost a laugh, but not quite.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Nah. That’s not really my thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He's lying, and he can't really tell if she can tell as she squints at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>What is your thing? Just… Fucking up your brain?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK snorts, nodding ironically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Yeah, pretty much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Why? Like, I know getting drunk is fun, I’m down with the kids, but… Why would you do it all the time?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK furrows his eyebrows at her, confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>I mean, the world’s shit enough without having to go through it with a clear head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She awkwardly nods, looking away as NICK stares at her, laughing awkwardly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>That’s called “a joke”, Milo, have you heard of them?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO nods, sucking in her lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Yeah, I have. I just hate the British culture of normalising alcoholism and shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK overdramatically gasps, his eyes going wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Wow, you’re so woke and smart, tell me more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Grindr notification noise goes off, both NICK and MILO looking surprised as NICK takes his phone out - it was him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Oh, fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swipes away the message and turns off his sound, putting his phone back on vibrate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Forgot to turn that off. Anyway--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Was that the Grindr noise?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>How do you know?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO rolls her eyes, laughing a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>I’m queer, I watch TV, why do you have it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>[dry] For making friends, why do you think?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO's mouth falls open, laughing in shock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>You’re seventeen, Nick, that’s illegal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK leans back, laughing nervously, pulling the hood tighter around his face - he doesn't know what to say, he just keeps laughing until he can think.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>NICK<br/>
</span>I’m not hurting anyone, am I? Besides, literally half of sixth form has Tinder or Bumble or whatever the straights are up to these days downloaded.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO rolls her eyes again, NICK letting out a frustrated sigh as she does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Still. You could be sleeping with <em>adults</em>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK makes his eye go wide in mock-horror as he place a hand on his heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>[sarcastic] Oh no, that would be awful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO gives him a look, and NICK rolls his eyes, laughing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Come on, I’m basically an adult. It’s not a big deal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Not a big deal? Nick--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK stops laughing, glaring at her as MILO raises her eyebrows, surprised.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Wow. I-- I can’t believe this. I thought you were all for liberation and freedom and letting people live their lives.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I just don’t support the liberation and freedom of teenagers fucking adults.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK scoffs, MILO folding her arms and rolling her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Everyone does it! It’s perfectly normal!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rolls his eyes again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>I was right about you. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>uptight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO laughs a little in disbelief.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>I’d rather be uptight than so insecure in myself that I seek sexual attention from grown adults.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK’s jaw drops for a moment, his confidence shattered as MILO’s eyes go wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Oh, that was… That was really mean. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK shakes his head, clenching his jaw, rapidly blinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>No. You said it. Like, you thought it, so you said it. You can’t take that back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>You can’t judge someone by one mistake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK rolls his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Okay, Mister Judgy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO scoffs, angry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Miss! I’m literally wearing a skirt, Nick! I’m so obviously fucking presenting femininely, read my fucking badge!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She points at the pin near her shoulder, saying in bold block letters “SHE/HER”. NICK’s shoulders drop as he fidgets nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>I’m-- I’m really sorry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO nods, rolling her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Yeah, well, I shouldn’t have expected you to be different.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Different than what?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Every other cis person thinks they can do whatever the fuck they want because they’re also minorities.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK stutters for a few moments, shaking his head quickly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>I’m not… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stands up properly, looking around nervously, speaking quietly:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>I’m not like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO rolls her eyes, nodding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Look, I’m not trying to make a scene, just… Please be respectful of me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Okay. You be respectful of me too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO sighs, NICK tensing, knowing he did something wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>This-- This isn’t the same thing, Nick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK breathes out hard, MILO sighing as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>I-- I have to go. I have shit to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO nods, stepping out of his way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO<br/>
</span>
  <span>Okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK stays still, opening his mouth, trying to find the right thing to say. He waits for a moment, and then:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO nods, and they stand still for a moment. NICK stares at her, still opening his mouth, and MILO raises her eyebrows, questioningly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Bye?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>MILO nods and walks off, still clearly upset as NICK sighs deeply, putting his sunglasses back on and rubbing his temples. He turns, picking his bag off of the windowsill and slipping it on, and when he turns back to the hallway, THEO’s walking up to him, smiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>THEO<br/>
</span>Hey. </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK waves half-heartedly, smiling awkwardly as THEO looks at him, confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>THEO<br/>
</span>
  <span>What’s wrong?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>What?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>THEO<br/>
</span>
  <span>You and Milo were, like, properly fighting there a second ago and now you’re smiling at me like a white person half-jogging across the street.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK laughs a little, awkwardly nodding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>No, just… Me being an idiot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>THEO nods.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>THEO<br/>
</span>
  <span>[sarcastic] What a twist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK keeps laughing, trying to cover up how hurt he is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Yeah, I know. Anyways, we should get going, yeah? What class do you have first?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They begin to walk up the hallway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>THEO<br/>
</span>
  <span>I have a free, but I have an essay I gotta work on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>NICK<br/>
</span>
  <span>Oh, that sucks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walk on, getting lost in the crowd and the noise.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. CLIP SIX: "Something In Between"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 6TH, 18:25</b>
</p><p> </p><p><em>“Friday, I’m In Love” by Phoebe Bridgers</em> plays over the Brighton evening scene, lights and people and the usual life we’ve seen before.</p><p> </p><p>INT. LIVING ROOM, JAMES’S APARTMENT</p><p> </p><p>JAMES, headphones in, and NICK sit on the sofa together, each on opposite ends, each on their phones as a cooking show plays quietly on the television. NICK's looking down at an incognito Google page that has in the search bar: "What does it mean if I do something transphobic but I don't mean it and I think I might be…". He's nervously biting his lip, scrolling through various results that have nothing to do with anything. He deletes the search and begins to type out "I'm a guy but I really like it when I wear lipstick but then it makes me feel sick????".</p><p> </p><p>He looks down at the results, when JAMES shifts next to him. NICK jumps, holding his phone to his chest, but JAMES is too busy looking at his phone to notice. NICK lets out a quiet, relieved breath and looks back down at his phone. It's a lot of irrelevant articles about misogyny written clearly by cis women and NICK sighs again, when JAMES speaks, his headphones now out as the song fades out:</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I just got a text from Al.</p><p> </p><p>NICK looks over at him, quickly turning off his phone.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>He says he can’t go out tonight.</p><p> </p><p>NICK scoffs, rolling his eyes, but glad to have a distraction.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Seriously? He literally said he would.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Yeah, apparently there’s “drama” going on in the Brighton teenage musical theatre community.</p><p> </p><p>NICK scoff-laughs again, raising his eyebrows.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>That’s a thing?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES laughs a little, nodding.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Apparently. Remember that weird blonde girl he used to hang out with?</p><p> </p><p>NICK thinks for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Oh, yeah. Didn’t she and Jake date?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I have no fucking clue. Anyways, her all-white theatre company just announced they’re doing Miss Saigon in the new year and Al’s starting a campaign to shut them down, but they’re already bought the rights, so it’s a big mess. He's been talking about it for, like, two hours on his Instagram.</p><p> </p><p>NICK squints and opens his Instagram, tapping on ALISTAIR's account, where he silently rambles, gesturing enthusiastically. NICK is the only person watching, but ALISTAIR just keeps going on.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Jesus.</p><p> </p><p>He goes out of it and looks over to JAMES.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Hey, what’s Miss Saigon?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>It’s, like, the big show about East Asians, and it’s apparently very, very racist.</p><p> </p><p>NICK sighs, fake-upset.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Shit. There goes all of my big Broadway dreams.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES laughs a bit, quite half-hearted, as NICK's smile awkwardly trails off.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>But, like, is there anything we can do to help?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I think he’s starting a petition, so we can sign it.</p><p> </p><p>NICK nods, trying to laugh again.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Cool. You know I love to support the Asians.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES awkwardly laughs, nodding a bit.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Yeah…</p><p> </p><p>He trails off, looking sadly down at his phone as NICK watches him, confused.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>You okay, mate?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES shrugs, awkwardly trying to smile. NICK awkwardly tries to make his face look empathetic as he moves a bit closer to JAMES.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Did you fight with Liz again?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Um, yeah. </p><p> </p><p>He awkwardly laughs, his voice breaking.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>She-- She dumped me this morning.</p><p> </p><p>NICK's jaw drops. Holy. Fucking. Shit.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>What? But... What the hell happened?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES awkwardly laughs, bitterness seeping through as he shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>She-- She said she's been thinking about it for a while and she doesn't want to be with somebody who "doesn't share the same ideals as her". And-- And then I told her "Look, I don't have to be in an open relationship, we can just stay like this" and she was like "No, you're still gonna think about it" and I was like "You don't?" and she was like "No".</p><p> </p><p>He rolls his eyes, scoffing and laughing a little.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Like-- Like she's so perfect.</p><p> </p><p>He sighs, his laugh trailing off as his head hangs back.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>She is, though.</p><p> </p><p>NICK nods, not quite sure what to say - well, he knows what he wants to say, but he can't say it.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I just-- I don't want things to be weird between all of us. I mean, you and Rori had a pretty chill break up.</p><p> </p><p>NICK blows out a breath, looking away and quickly nodding.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>[lying] Yeah. Totally.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES nods, hunching in on himself, scared.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>How-- How did you handle it? ‘Cause you just-- You were just perfectly fine after it, and I feel like I’m never gonna be fine ever again. Like… Like no one's ever gonna love me.</p><p> </p><p>NICK looks at him, completely disbelieving - he loves him <em> so </em> much.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I… I just… So many people love you.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>No one's <em> in </em> love with me though.</p><p> </p><p>NICK looks at him - he should say it. It would be so easy. It could fix everything. But it could destroy it too. He looks down.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>She-- She never said she stopped loving you.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES shakes his head, biting his lip.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>No, I could tell. I'm not good at reading people, but I can read her.</p><p> </p><p>He lets out a breath, rubbing his face down with his hands, NICK just watching him, still trying to find the right words to say.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I want her back so bad, but she-- She said she "isn’t sure if she can see a future with me". Like, what the fuck? We’ve been dating for well over a year, that’s a serious relationship.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I mean, she is going to be moving away to go to uni.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES sits up, sputtering with frustration.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I can do long distance! I’d do anything just to… But she doesn’t want to understand me, it’s like she’s so obsessed with getting her perfect grades that I’m just a distraction.</p><p> </p><p>NICK looks at him for a moment, shrugging.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>She <em> is </em> trying to go to med school. </p><p> </p><p>JAMES groans, putting his head into his hands.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I know. She’s so smart and pretty and I hate it.</p><p> </p><p>He sighs again and looks up at the ceiling. NICK follows his gaze. There's black mould creeping in.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>When does this stop?</p><p> </p><p>NICK is still for a moment, but then starts to awkwardly laugh to cover up the fact that he doesn’t know.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Look, I… I don’t know. I'm sorry, but I don't. I-- I don’t even know I feel about Rori right now.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES looks at him, confused.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Why?</p><p> </p><p>A beat. But NICK laughs again, shaking his head.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>No, this is about you.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Distract me from it.</p><p> </p><p>NICK takes a breath, and then shrugs, giving in.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Theo told me she’s seeing someone new. And has been for a while, and I just… wasn’t told, apparently. And the girls are always a bit weird around me, and… I mean, I always knew when it came down to it, most people would pick her over me. Fuck, anyone over me, but still.</p><p> </p><p>He laughs a little, just to himself, as JAMES takes a deep, shaky breath.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I-- I really don’t wanna lose my friends.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Then just try and pretend everything’s normal. They’ll make weird small talk and sometimes it’ll seem like it’s back to the way it was, but… It still hurts.</p><p> </p><p>He blows out some air, running a hand through his hair as JAMES nods, staring down at his feet.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>At least this’ll all be just a memory this time next year.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES shakes his head, pouting like a child.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I don’t want it to be. I want Liz. I love her, I love her so much, she’s everything to me, she’s… The only good thing in my life. ‘Cause I’m a fucking mess. I’m a deadbeat with no future, and I try and act like it’s all good, but it never is.</p><p> </p><p>NICK looks at him, trying his best to force himself to be genuine.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>You don’t have to act like anything.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>You literally just told me to, though.</p><p> </p><p>NICK sighs, a little frustrated.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Okay, sorry. I’m not exactly a relationship expert.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES sighs, also frustrated.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>How did you get over her, then?</p><p> </p><p>Silence. NICK stares ahead, not knowing the answer - maybe there isn’t one.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I just… I think we both knew it wasn’t gonna be marriage and kids. We just… Liked each other and wanted to have fun, but…</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>But?</p><p> </p><p>NICK looks over at JAMES. He opens his mouth, but then stops himself, carefully choosing his words.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>There was always... something in between.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Like what?</p><p> </p><p>NICK quickly looks away, coughing.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I don’t know. Just something.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES nods, vaguely understanding.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Right, “something”.</p><p> </p><p>He shakes his head to himself.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Fucking love triangles… They’re so fun to watch, but once you’re in one, it’s fucking hell.</p><p> </p><p>NICK nods, laughing a little - a nervous habit more than anything else.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I know, right?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Yeah… </p><p> </p><p>JAMES trails off, thinking for a few moments as NICK watches him.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>And-- And she told me I should just go after whichever random person I apparently "loved so much", but like… I would be such a dick if I did, right?</p><p> </p><p>NICK shrugs, blinking rapidly - he's gotta be cool.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I-- I mean, it depends.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES rolls his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>He's one of her <em> friends </em>, Nick. He's slept over at her house.</p><p> </p><p>A beat. NICK looks at him, completely confused.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>What?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Yeah, Al goes to their girls' nights sometimes.</p><p> </p><p><em>Oh</em>.</p><p> </p><p>NICK's face falls, his heart broken.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>What?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES shrugs, hunching over, self-conscious.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I… I like Al.</p><p> </p><p>NICK picks himself back up, trying to make his face more neutral.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Oh. Cool.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES looks at him, quickly realising.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Did-- Sorry, Nick, are--</p><p> </p><p>NICK quickly shakes his head, smiling and laughing - walls up.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>No, just, I-- I'm surprised you would have such bad taste. Like-- Like Al? Alistair Fletcher?</p><p> </p><p>JAMES shrugs again, laughing with sadness.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Yeah. Just… I hate it, but I can't help it? Like-- Like whenever I talk to him, I feel like everything’s gonna be okay, but when he leaves, I just feel so… I don’t know, ashamed? Like I shouldn’t even think about… Whatever. </p><p> </p><p>He sighs deeply, looking ahead, thinking out loud as NICK watches, blinking rapidly, scratching his wrist, - he understands perfectly. But <em>fuck.</em></p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>He’s just so different. From-- From everything else? Like, he’s so… Much, but he’s not putting it on, like, he’s real. Like, he’s trans, but it isn’t all he talks about, and he acts all gay and stuff but it’s not pretend, like…</p><p> </p><p>He looks over at NICK, whose face falls again, and then shrugs, looking down again.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>You know.</p><p> </p><p>NICK chokes out:</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>It’s not pretend when I do it. That’s-- That’s just how I act.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES nods, quickly backtracking.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>No, yeah, just… You can act really straight too.</p><p> </p><p>NICK nods, forcing out an awkward laugh.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Yeah. Anyone would think I’m bisexual.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES's jaw clenches at the word "bisexual" as he nervously nods.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Yeah, just… Yeah.</p><p> </p><p>Silence, for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Yeah.</p><p> </p><p>Silence, for another moment. NICK glances over at the door. JAMES laughs, his voice cracking as he does.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Fuck, if my parents could see me now!</p><p> </p><p>He raises his arms, still laughing as NICK looks over at him, no idea what to do.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I had one thing going for me, and she’s gone! I am just a fucking waste of space! Thanks for the money and the trauma, Mum, it all went to good use!</p><p> </p><p>He shakes his head, his laughter turning to sobs as he folds in on himself. NICK's whole body tenses, incredibly uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I don’t even know what I’m fucking saying.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>It’s-- It’s fine.</p><p> </p><p>He awkwardly reaches out a hand to touch him, to comfort him, to fix him, but JAMES pulls away, not even noticing him.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>No, it’s not. I need… I need an adult. But I’m technically already an adult? I don’t…</p><p> </p><p>He shakes his head, wiping his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>The best thing I’ll do in a year is get a slight pay raise at my shitty bakery that doesn’t even let me fucking bake.</p><p> </p><p>NICK touches his arm, putting on a joking smile.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Hey, the best thing I’ll do is sell someone drugs.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES is silent. NICK's smile fades as he shrugs, blinking as he avoids eye contact.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>I don’t know. I just… I don’t know anything. I’m just… A guy.</p><p> </p><p>NICK stares at him, his breathing increasing - he has no idea how he can help anymore. </p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Um… I… </p><p> </p><p>He looks down at his phone - nothing's happened on it, but he raises his eyebrows and looks shocked like something has.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Oh, shit.</p><p> </p><p>He stands up as JAMES looks at him, wiping his eyes again.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>What?</p><p> </p><p>NICK looks guilty for a moment, but quickly covers it up, shaking his head out and zipping his hoodie up.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Sorry, just-- Mum just messaged me, apparently Matthew’s really sick? Like a stomach virus? They’re taking him to the doctor, they need me to watch the others.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES nods, trying to smile - he just looks miserable. NICK aches.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Yeah. Yeah, of course, go do that.</p><p> </p><p>NICK nods, turning and grabbing his bag from the door of the spare room. He lets out a quiet, guilty sigh as he looks back over at JAMES, who's back to staring down at his phone.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I’ll text you when I can.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES nods, not looking up.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>Thanks.</p><p> </p><p>NICK awkwardly lingers in the doorway, bouncing on the balls of his feet.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>I-- I’m really sorry, Jimmy.</p><p> </p><p>JAMES<br/>[emotionless] Yeah. Thanks.</p><p> </p><p>NICK looks at him one last time, and then walks out the door.</p><p> </p><p>INT. HALLWAY</p><p> </p><p><em>"Back to Black" by Amy Winehouse</em> begins to play as NICK leans his back against the door, his eyes instantly welling up as he bites his lip to keep quiet. He rubs his eyes frantically, trying to clean up, but he only makes them more red. A young woman walks in from the staircase and stares at him, NICK staring back.</p><p> </p><p>After a moment, NICK rushes past her.</p><p> </p><p>INT. STAIRCASE</p><p> </p><p>NICK runs down the staircase, pulling the bag tight around his shoulders as he tries to wipe his eyes again, running quickly out of the door.</p><p> </p><p>EXT. STREETS</p><p> </p><p>NICK walks slowly through the streets, looking down at his feet as people rush past him, all with things to do, but NICK just keeps staring down, his eyes empty as he soldiers on.</p><p> </p><p>EXT. BACK GARDEN, NICK'S HOUSE</p><p> </p><p>NICK walks into the back garden, locking the gate behind him as he looks up at the house. JOSEFINA is sitting alone in the kitchen, nursing a mug as NICK sighs, putting on a brave face and walking up the garden path.</p><p> </p><p>INT. KITCHEN</p><p> </p><p>The song fades out, the instrumental remaining as NICK walks into the kitchen, awkwardly smiling. JOSEFINA stands up, her mouth falling open in surprise.</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA<br/>Nick--</p><p> </p><p>He drops his bag, walks up to her quickly and hugs her tightly. She's shocked for a moment, but then hugs back.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>[choked up] I’m really sorry for how I acted, Mum. I-- I’m really gonna try to do better now. I promise.</p><p> </p><p>He pulls back and she looks up at him, a doubtful look on her face.</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA<br/>Really?</p><p> </p><p>NICK nods, quick and desperate.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Really. I-- I’m gonna go do some studying now, I have a test next week. Luke can verify for you.</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA smiles, slowly letting herself be hopeful again.</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA<br/>Okay.</p><p> </p><p>NICK nods, swallowing the lump in his throat, and begins to walk to the door.</p><p> </p><p>JOSEFINA<br/>Thank you so much, Nick.</p><p> </p><p>NICK turns to her, smiling shakily.</p><p> </p><p>NICK<br/>Yeah.</p><p> </p><p>He quickly walks out.</p><p> </p><p>INT. HALLWAY</p><p> </p><p>NICK lets out a breath and he walks into the hallway,<em> "Back to Black" by Amy Winehouse</em> resuming as he looks around. All of the doors are closed, but he glances up to the bathroom and lets out a sigh of relief, quickly moving to the door.</p><p> </p><p>INT. BATHROOM</p><p> </p><p>NICK rushes into the bathroom and closes the door tight behind him, locking it as he hyperventilates, placing a hand on his heart, trying to slow it all down. He takes off the hoodie he’s wearing - JAMES’s hoodie - and he’s not wearing a shirt underneath. He looks into the mirror, at himself. </p><p> </p><p>He gently touches the top of his hair, lifting it up so it sticks in the air, the pink abstract and bright against the blue of the bathroom tiles and the brown of his hand. He watches in confusion as he takes his hand down the side of his face, inspecting his cheeks and jaw and lips, almost expecting them to change if he prods at them enough.</p><p> </p><p>He trails down to his chin, pushing the fat up into his face as he goes down his neck, his hand finally resting on his chest. He stares at it. He pushes his hand in, trying to make his chest look bigger, and then quickly stops, jerking his hand back, like he had no control over what he was doing.</p><p> </p><p>He looks into his own eyes and doesn’t recognise the person he’s seeing.</p><p> </p><p>He looks over to the windowsill - there are some plastic baskets with shaving cream, razors, shampoo and body washes, and then there’s a cream bag, zipped up. He glances over at the locked door, and then grabs it.</p><p> </p><p>He opens the bag and begins to place everything out onto the chest of drawers - almost used-up foundations, dusty powder, grotty eyeshadow, barely there blush, the most hideously dark pink shade of lipstick - and then just stares at it for a moment. He looks at his own face. He looks at the locked door. He takes his phone out of his back pocket and wraps it up in the hoodie, hiding it. He looks in his eyes. He exhales.</p><p> </p><p>He uncaps the foundations, using a crusty sponge to begin to dab it onto his face - it’s an off colour for him, and it’s much too thick, but he’s making do. He opens the powder and most of it falls on the floor. He winces, yelling silently and scoops it back into its container, taking a much too big brush and putting it onto his face, not quite sure what he’s doing. He brushes the brush off with his hand and sticks it into the blush, running it up and down his cheeks, no rhyme or reason to it, just trying his best.</p><p> </p><p>He opens the eyeshadow and stares blankly into the bland brown colours. He rolls his eyes and takes the small and very dirty eyeshadow brushes. He closes his eyes, spinning the brush around the palette and then scooping up a lot of whatever colour he lands on. He smothers his eyes in it, and then opens them, blinking rapidly and he goes to rub them - and then stops. He takes some mascara out of the bag, and then thinks better of it, putting it back.</p><p> </p><p>He takes the lipstick and uncaps it, finally looking up into the mirror at himself. He looks disastrous, all of the colours off, all of the placements wrong. He looks like a child’s first attempt at makeup. He stares at himself, lipstick still in hand, and begins to laugh, tilting his head to look at himself - but then he really looks at himself. He slowly stops laughing. He uses his free hand to reach up and touch his face, wiping some of the thick foundation off. He couldn’t do it right. And, all at once, he begins to sob.</p><p> </p><p>Thick, muddy tears run down his face as he hunches over, brown droplets falling onto his bare chest. He tries to wipe his eyes, but he ends up just making everything worse, silently yelling in pain as he gets something in his eyes. He rushes over to the sink and begins to run the cold tap, splashing water into his eyes. He looks back up into the mirror. He looks like his face is melting off. He sobs more, splashing more and more water, trying to rub all of it off with his hands. </p><p> </p><p>He turns the tap off, looking down at his trousers - they’re soaked. He takes them off, looking down at his legs, covered in dark hair. He looks down at his crotch, almost confused by it, and then looks back up into the mirror. His eyes are red and his face looks an off colour. He sighs deeply and quickly pushes all of the makeup back into the bag, putting it back on the windowsill when he sees what’s sitting next to it - a box of black hair dye. It’s advertised for “covering roots”, but NICK looks between it and the mirror, touching his own pink hair again. He lets out a breath and grabs the box.</p><p> </p><p>We smash cut to NICK now wearing plastic gloves, rubbing a dark matter - the dye - all over his hair, keeping his eyes scrunched closed as he makes sure he gets down deep to his roots, rubbing and rubbing and rubbing and rubbing.</p><p> </p><p>We smash cut to NICK kneeling over the shower, using the showerhead to wash the dye out of his hair, keeping his eyes closed as he blindly washes his hair, shaking it out over the drain.</p><p> </p><p>We smash cut to NICK towel drying his hair, very quickly rubbing it, his shoulders tensed, until he stops. He brings the towel down, shaking it out as he looks up at himself, now with black hair. He tries to force himself to smile as his eyes tear up. He quickly wipes them away, still smiling, and begins to dry his hair again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> CUT TO CREDITS AS SILENCE PLAYS </em>
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  <em> CUT TO BLACK </em>
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